Millie's Story
Millie's Story
Millie, our beautiful baby girl, is our first born.
When she fell ill at 9 months old we didn’t know what to expect as first time parents, and this was also her first cold. Sam, Millie’s dad, had just gone to the west coast for the week for work so it was just me and Millie at home. The night before she was unsettled didn’t want to be put down and had a temp but also had good moments of almost being her normal self.
In the morning I made a Doctor’s appointment as she still had a high temperature, wasn’t eating solids and generally wasn’t the happy-go-lucky babe we knew. Luckily I have a very supportive family around so my mother in law, Karen, came with me to her first Doctor’s appointment.
The doctor thought it was a viral cold and to keep her hydrated and said if anything changes, return or I’m worried, return. We were back home for about two hours before Millie developed a rash and was almost consistently crying. I rang the doctors back and asked to come back in. We were seen straight away by a nurse who pushed on her rash and checked her temp. Millie perked up at the doctors giving her smiles and clapping her hands. They suggested chicken pox and we were sent home.
At this point I always get so upset because this is the moment we should have been taken to hospital.
Meningitis never even crossed my mind. If I had some knowledge around meningitis and knew even half of the signs, I would have just driven her to the hospital myself, or put the worry into doctors minds. I drove home trying to carry on with a very upset wee babe.
I sent a photo to a Friend who’s wee boy had just had chicken pox, asking if this is what they looked like and she said “no, not really”. I started have doubts in mind. I kept trying to put Millie to bed and follow our normal routine and she just screamed and screamed unless she was laying on me, feeding.
I decided I would put her into bed with me as I thought sleep would be the best healer for a cold. I fed her to sleep and kept an eye on her temp. She fell asleep for 40 minutes and started to spew, I instantly felt worried when she didn’t react or wake from a some very big spews. I picked her up, wrapped her in the blanket and jumped in the car.
It was about 9:30 at night. I rang my parents in law to let them know I was taking Millie to the after-hours urgent care. Thankfully they both decided to come along with us and I picked them up on the way. Oh, thank goodness they did, as it got very serious, very quickly.
Nigel drove and I sat in the back stroking Millie’s forehead singing her favourite songs to try calm her cries. She kept spewing then falling asleep then screaming. I ended taking her out of her car seat and holding her whilst driving towards help.
As soon as we reached after hours we were seen by a doctor who straight away seen the rash and rung an ambulance to take us to hospital. On arrival to the hospital we were whipped straight into a private room in emergency and were greeted by a handful of doctors. They hooked her up to a machine that instantly started beeping with a high temp and dropping blood pressure.
They immediately started to try to get some blood out of both arms and legs. Millie was going in and out consciousness and was classed as septic. I still vividly remember Millie’s eyes as she would come to, staring so widely at me for help as they poked and prodded to try get some blood. I have never felt so panicked. This moment felt like a life time. With every failed attempt I could have screamed. There were so many medical staff in our room.
The medical team were amazing at staying calm, but at this point I could feel the worry. I felt sick, I just wanted to pick my baby girl up and run. We had to take moments of walking out of the room to catch a breath have a cry, then go back to support our baby girl.
I asked my father in-law to ring Sam, Millie’s dad, to let him know what was going on and how serious it has become. At this point it was about 1am and Sam instantly jumped in his ute and started the drive to hospital.
A doctor came in and explained they couldn’t get a vein to administer antibiotics and Millie was deteriorating, so they were going to drill into her shin bone to administer three different strong antibiotics. They couldn’t take any blood samples to know what type of meningitis Millie had, so they made an educated guess to what meningitis she might have.
I felt so much relief, but I was also so uneducated. I thought that now she has antibiotics she would be out of the woods. They said I might want to leave the room whilst they drilled. I ended up holding her as I couldn’t bear to leave her. They proceeded to drill and administered the antibiotics. It looked like a wee bolt opening to her bone to give the medication. Millie had the cutest wee chunky legs and it kept popping out so the drill was kept close to keep drilling it down to stay in.
A woman came in and explained that the intensive care team were on their way to transfer Millie. A counsellor came in and a medical professional explained that the next few hours were critical. It was a waiting game of it going one of two ways.
I have never felt so sick, panicked, and such an out-of-body experience. Like the breath had just been taken out me.
I picked Millie up looked at my mother in law and just cried and pleaded for them to help her. My parents in law were right by our side the whole time, I could see in their eyes they were hurting just as much, watching it all unfold.
I was told to ring loved ones who may want to see Millie just in case. I just sat on the bed holding Millie, sleeping, crying to the medical team not to let my baby die. Not wanting to ring anyone, just wanting to hold her.
Throughout the whole process, Millie would still breastfeed. I held her with her feeding on and off and although it may not have been doing a whole lot, it made me feel connected, like I was doing something to help her. It was something I will always cherish.
We arrived in intensive care. There was a nurse in the room at all times recording all her obs consistently. Sam wasn’t far at this point and I was still supported by Karen and Nigel. I tried to ring my mum but it was now about 2am and I got no answer. I rang my dad and brother but they were on a plane back home from an end of year rugby tour.
I ended up ringing my other brother and sister-in-law in England, who I knew would be awake due to the time difference. Genna answered and as soon as I heard a familiar voice, I just cried and then we cried together. I sent messages to family to call when they woke in the morning or when off the plane. Sam arrived, and brought a sense of calm.
I slept next to Millie in the bed, and Sam sat next to the bed waiting for the doctors to come tell us how Millie was reacting to the treatment. Hours into treatment, Millie started to show signs of improvement. The nurse said that her vital signs where improving. It was good news, all her stats were starting to show some improvement, and she was opening her eyes. Her face was so puffy from all the IVs she had throughout the night.
Millie was then transferred into the high dependency unit. Here Millie was given a lumbar puncture and bloods were taken to try to grow the bacteria to determine what strain of meningitis she had. She was also briefly assessed to see how her hearing was. She wasn’t responding very well to her name but she was also still very drowsy and unwell. They explained they would expect her hearing to be damaged, and that they would be back to test it later in the week.
Not long after the lumbar puncture, we were greeted by a team of medical staff who said the spinal cord fluid was really cloudy which wasn’t a good sign. It’s a sign the she had bacterial meningitis. After this we were whisked away to a separate wing and treated as infectious.
Now they knew what meningitis Millie had, they could stop two of the other antibiotics and continue with the right one.
A woman arrived the next day to ask us numerous questions, to trace where we had been and who we had been in contact with in the last number of weeks. We gave names and numbers of these people and they were also questioned on how long we seen each other and how close we had all been. She gave medication to me, Sam, Sam’s parents, and the after-hours doctor who Millie had spewed on.
We were in the hospital for five days, each day getting better than the last.
We were so incredibly lucky to leave hospital with our baby girl with no life-long effects. We felt so lucky to have such a wonderful family supporting us the whole time. It was a sense of relief to be home, but that night my mind began to wander.
The “what if’s” kept coming to mind. I found myself in tears letting the ‘what if’s’ take over. It could have easily been a different outcome. Minutes truly do matter. Even to this day I have moments of tears where the fear of that takes over.
Millie was so incredibly lucky to walk away with only a very minor set-back of growth as a baby. She stopped growing or putting on any weight for about eight months. The doctors explained when your body is healing and it is taking up a lot of energy it shuts off other areas that are unneeded and puts its focus on what’s needed most, and that was her immunity.
